Follow these timeless tips for being a good conversationalist(健谈的人).
1. Avoid unnecessary details.
Don’t sidetrack(转移目标). For example, if the time something happened isn’t important, don’t waste time getting it right.
2. Don’t ask another question before the first one has been answered.
If you ask how someone’s children are, don’t jump in with your family health before she has answered.
3. Do not interrupt another while he is speaking.
Also, try to make your story short, giving the other person a chance to speak and not interrupt(打断).
4. Do not contradict, especially if it’s not important.
You are inserting unnecessary details into the person’s story. “The person who contradicts(反驳), frequently restates(重述) the matter in another way.”
5. Do not do all the talking.
Ask questions to find out what you both have in common.
6. Don’t always be the hero of your story, however, the story should have a hero.
Build up others as well as yourself.
7. Choose a subject of mutual(共同的) interest.
Draw the person’s interests out and don’t “hinge(装上铰链) the conversation on politics when it should be on potatoes or on poetry(诗歌).”
8. Be a good listener.
You will naturally become one if you follow the above rules.
9. The conversation should be in harmony with(与……一致) the surroundings.
Do not “talk about cheese when the moon would be a more fitting topic.” Also, don’t discount(不考虑，不重视) the appropriateness of silence.
10. Do not exaggerate(夸大).
Not everything is “the best,” “the worst,” or “the funniest.”
11. Do not misquote(错误引用).
“Use the quotation for the occasion; do not make an occasion for the quotation.”
12. Cultivate tact(机敏老练).
Do not be untruthful, but also don’t feel the need to be hurtful(伤感情的). Do not say someone looks unwell, sick, or tired. This will do nothing to further conversation and only make the person uncomfortable. Don’t hint at it either by asking if she had a long night. Remember silence is an option. “Say the right thing, or say nothing.”